Wednesday, November 07, 2007
After reflecting yesterday on the reason for my existence, I found no reason to doubt my existence. And since I cannot doubt my existence, I should make the best of it or at least bear with it. I got a great quote from a video I watched during today's Nation Building. Someone in the video said that Hegel, a philosopher, said "There's always a reason for existence, for without a reason to exist, something will not exist." Ain't it a good statement. And if the reason for existence is no longer existing, something will slowly disappear until it ceases to exist. Today as I reflect, I will bear this in mind.
Now as I sit on my bed, typing this on my Vaio, with my psychology textbook by my side, I start to dream. Dreams are definitely a part of living and I believe is one of the reasons for my continued existence. Anyone dare to claim they do not dream? But sometimes, there are too many things that we dream about. When I was young, I dreamt of being a doctor, a policeman, a fireman, a laywer among many others. When I start growing older, I dreamt of wanting to be a millionaire, to have a lasting relationship and to live happily. Even at this moment, I dream of being in a good paying job, having a loving girlfriend, a wonderful family and to live happily.
Together with dreams, we start to have expectations. Expectations are always said to be good. When you have expectations, you start working towards them in the hope of achieving them. But have you taught about how expectations can bring one down? When you have too high expectations of yourself, of someone else or of something, it is like setting an impossible target to achieve. And when you are nowhere near your expectations, you start to feel like a failure.
And many a times, we set such high expectations because of the fact that we dream! Dreams are almost always perfect. Remember how Disney always fooled us with their love stories? It is always so loving, and touching. With that in mind, we tend to set high expectations of our loved one. We demand and expect too much from them, and when they do not go along with our demands or expectations, we find them useless or not worthy of our love. But have we stopped and thought for a moment, are we meeting up to their demands and expectations too? Love is such a give and take thing that with only one side at it, it will never work out.
Seeing my parents in love, sometimes I can't help but set certain expectations for myself too. I had always wanted a single relationship to last till death, but that of course, is not possible at the moment. Thus, I should remove all expectations and take things as they come, for expectations will only make me ponder more. Like I mentioned previously, setting too high expectations will only throw me back on the cold hard floor. Having experienced it before, I will not come to this stage again.
I will not cease to stop dreaming, for when I stop dreaming, I will lose a reason to exist. I believe that there many things that I still dream for and set expectations for. And it is with these dreams and expectations, that I will continue to have a reason to exist.
-End of Reflections II-
思念是一种病 {12:12 am}
